Many self-harmers share that it is their coping method. When they hurt themselves, the physical pain distracts them from thinking and having upsetting emotions. This is why self-harm can be addictive for some people. They want to stop, but they crave that numbing feeling, much like an alcoholic or drug user does. There is nothing cool about damaging your body, possibly for life, or doing something just because someone else does.
For a fleeting few minutes of relief, it can have a serious, long-term cost. The scarring that self-harm causes can be for life, and brings many harmers shame and embarrassment when they already suffer from low self-esteem. And if you ingest toxic substances, you can cause internal organ damage or even accidental death. And think of it this way — each time you hurt yourself you are sending a strong message to your brain and being that you deserve to be hurt.
If you were a computer, you are constantly running a bad software. People who self-injure may attempt to conceal their marks, such as bruises, scabs or scars with clothing, and you may notice them wearing inappropriate clothing like long sleeves and pants in hot weather. The diagnosis for someone who self-injures can only be determined by a licensed psychiatric professional. Self-injury behaviors can be a symptom other mental illnesses such as: personality disorders esp.
The relationship between suicide and self-injury is complicated. While people with non-suicidal self injury do not intend to completed suicide, they may cause more harm than intended, which could result in medical complications or death.
In severe or prolonged cases of self-injury, a person may become desperate about their lack of control over the behavior and its addictive nature, which may lead them to true suicide attempts. If someone displays the signs and symptoms of self-injury, a mental health professional with self-injury expertise should be consulted. If your relative wants to talk to you about their self-harm the main thing to do is listen to them.
You can ask them what help they want. You may have a better understanding of what the person is going through if you educate yourself. You could contact mental health and self-harm charities for information. Or read books or join a support group. Tell them you care for them if they self-harm or not.
If possible, make sure they have a safe place. Be as available as you can be. Set aside your personal feelings about self-harm and focus on what's going on for them. Be honest and realistic about what you can and can't do. Offer the person support if you think that you can help with something. You may think about removing sharp objects or pills from the house. This can be an option if the person feels suicidal and you need to do something in a crisis. At other times this may not be helpful as for many self-harm is a coping technique.
It is likely to make them feel more alone. Accepting and understanding that someone is in pain doesn't make the pain go away. But it can make it more bearable for them to know that someone understands. Be hopeful about the possibilities of finding other ways of coping rather than self-harm. If they are willing, discuss possibilities for treatment with them. They will decide when they feel the time is right.
Be patient. You might find it difficult if the person rejects you at first, but they may need time to build trust. Take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to take a break. If you are a carer, friend or relative of someone who self-harms, you can get support.
You can use online forums, support groups and telephone support services. Support groups for friends and family of people with mental health problems may be useful. While they may not only focus on selfharm, group members will understand how a caring role can affect you. Look in our Useful Contacts section below for contact details of some helpful services or search on the Carers Trust website:. It explains what they found about why people self-harm and ways to support people.
You can download it from their website. Website : www. You can download it for free from their website. DBT self-help The website has been created by people who have been through dialectical behavioural therapy DBT rather than by health professionals.
The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-inflicted Violence — by Jan Sutton This is a book that has new research, statistics, diagrams, some resources, case studies and practical self-help activities. She writes about what helped her distract herself and overcome her self-harming behaviour.
National Self-harm Network An online forum where you can chat with other people affected by self-harm. Self-Injury Support Offers a helpline service for women of any age who self-harm, as well as text and email services for women under Telephone : Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 7pm — pm Text : Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 7pm — pm.
Email: tessmail selfinjurysupport. They have information, support forums. Telephone : Website : www. They provide advice, support and psychosocial services to children, young people and adults. Open 10am-4pm Monday to Friday. Email : www. Shout can help with urgent issues such as suicidal thoughts, abuse or assault, self-harm, bullying and relationship challenges. Text : Text Shout to Recover Your Life This is an online forum that is run by and for people who self-harm.
They have information and advice about different issues. The Samaritans This is a listening service for anyone in distress including people who self-harm. Volunteers offer a listening service, along with coping strategies and signposting.
Telephone : - 5pm to 10pm every night of the year. Text : - 5pm to 10pm every night of the year. Webchat : see website: www. Self-Harm Service This is an NHS national treatment service for people who self-harm a lot and have problems with their relationships with other people.
But the service will only accept you as a patient if you meet their eligibility criteria. You should also ask your GP if your local trust has any self-harm services or look on the trust website.
Donate Search Menu. About us About us. See our contacts page Looking to contact us? Covid support. Supporting yourself Read more Supporting yourself. Covid information hub See all pages Covid information hub. Help in your area. Find peer support online Visit the Clic website Find peer support online. Advice and information. Contact our advice service today Need more information?
Get involved. Become a campaigner Sign up today Become a campaigner. Get help now. Advice and information About mental illness Learn more about symptoms Self-harm. Self-harm This section looks at what self-harm is and why you may self-harm.
If you would like more advice or information you can contact our Advice and Information Service by clicking here. Download Self-harm factsheet. Share: Contact us:. Overview Self-harm is harming yourself on purpose. Such as by scratching, cutting, overdosing on medication, biting or burning. You may self-harm because you find it difficult to cope with your moods or how you feel. Everyone has their own reasons for selfharming. Drinking a lot of alcohol or taking drugs may increase your risk of self-harm.
You are more at risk of death if you self-harm because of accidental suicide. Your doctor can help if you want to stop self-harming. They might refer you for specialist support. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help you selfharm less and make you feel less alone. It can be hard to know how to support someone who self-harms. Being patient and learning about why people self-harm can help. Need more advice? If you need more advice or information you can contact our Advice and Information Service.
Contact us Contact us. About What is self-harm? People self-harm in different ways such as the following. Who self-harms? You are more likely to self-harm if you: have a mental health issue such as: depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, or an eating disorder, have a substance abuse issue, are female, are a young person, are in prison, are an asylum seeker, are a veteran of the armed forces, are gay, lesbian or bisexual, have lost a loved one through suicide, or are a survivor of physical, emotional or sexual abuse as a child or as an adult.
Why do I self-harm? These reasons may change over time. You may self-harm to manage feelings Being overwhelmed by feelings is a common reason that people selfharm. You may self-harm to communicate You may self-harm to try and show others how you feel. You may self-harm to have control Self-harm can be a way of feeling in control of your body or your environment.
You may self-harm to punish yourself You may self-harm to punish yourself for feelings or behaviours that you think are your fault. Do people self-harm more than once? But self-harm can increase your risk of suicide. You may unintentionally end your life. Disclosing self-harm How can I tell someone I self-harm?
Below are some things to think about when you are going to tell someone. Who do I tell? For example, you may want to tell: a friend or family member, your GP, someone on an emotional support line, where you can remain anonymous if you prefer. What do I tell them? When do I say it? Where do I tell them? Why am I telling them? You might tell them because: you want to share that you self-harm or why you do it, you might feel that you have given them the wrong impression about how you feel or why you self-harm, or you want support to stop self-harming.
It's not something the person thinks about ahead of time. Shauna says, "It starts when something's really upsetting and you don't know how to talk about it or what to do. But you can't get your mind off feeling upset, and your body has this knot of emotional pain.
Before you know it, you're cutting yourself. And then somehow, you're in another place. Then, the next time you feel awful about something, you try it again — and slowly it becomes a habit. Natalie, a high-school junior who started cutting in middle school, explains that it was a way to distract herself from feelings of rejection and helplessness she felt she couldn't bear. I guess part of me must have known it was a bad thing to do, though, because I always hid it.
Once a friend asked me if I was cutting myself and I even lied and said 'no. Sometimes self-injury affects a person's body image. Jen says, "I actually liked how the cuts looked.
I felt kind of bad when they started to heal — and so I would 'freshen them up' by cutting again. Now I can see how crazy that sounds, but at the time, it seemed perfectly reasonable to me. I was all about those cuts — like they were something about me that only I knew.
They were like my own way of controlling things. I don't cut myself anymore, but now I have to deal with the scars. You can't force someone who self-injures to stop. It doesn't help to get mad at a friend who cuts, reject that person, lecture her, or beg him to stop. Instead, let your friend know that you care, that he or she deserves to be healthy and happy, and that no one needs to bear their troubles alone. Girls and guys who self-injure are often dealing with some heavy troubles.
Many work hard to overcome difficult problems. So they find it hard to believe that some kids cut just because they think it's a way to seem tough and rebellious. Tia tried cutting because a couple of the girls at her school were doing it.
So I did it once. But then I thought about how lame it was to do something like that to myself for no good reason. Next time they asked I just said, 'no, thanks — it's not for me. If you have a friend who suggests you try cutting, say what you think. Why get pulled into something you know isn't good for you? There are plenty of other ways to express who you are. Lindsay had been cutting herself for 3 years because of abuse she suffered as a child. She's 16 now and hasn't cut herself in more than a year.
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